ACEO - Good morning, morning

Monty: Ahhhhh...

Rosie: Oy! Lunkhead! You said you'd find out who this scruffy Border collie is who keeps his back to us.

Monty, shifty: Uh. I did. I asked Susan.

Rosie: Well? Who is it?

Monty: It's, uh, well, it's...

Rosie: Get on with it!

Monty: It's not one dog in particular. It's all of us when we stop to contemplate the wonders around us.

PAWS

Monty, nervously: I'm only saying what Susan said.

PAWS

Monty: Rosie? Rosie?

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Lets try this NOT an ACEO again....

Monty: Ack. It didn't work. She's got to do it again. She's going nuts now. Howling, even.

Rosie: Yeah, it's getting out of hand. The hills?

Monty: Yeah... Run for the hills!!!

Not an ACEO, but need a logo picture somewhere on www...

Monty: We don't mind her putting it in here, though, do we Rosie?

Rosie: Nah. It's cos she can't get the other thing to work, and it has to be picked up off the www. This is where she gets even more bald. Arf.

The sound of two chortling Border collies ripples through the air...

ACEO - You have GOT to be joking!!!

Monty: I don't get it.

Rosie: You're such a lunkhead - his mistress wants him to put Christmas bootees on. Can you imagine it?

Monty, scared: Do you think Susan will want us to put bootees on?

Rosie: Nah. She wouldn't. Nah. No way. She's not like that. Nah. She wouldn't. Would she?????

PAWS

Monty: Run for the hills........... aroooooooooo............

Rosie: Wait for me!

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ACEO - I don't believe it!

Monty: It's not right! Fancy going out and leaving your faithful dog behind!

Rosie: Yeah. No one in their right mind would do that. It's a scandal. All we want to do is come along and protect our humans, keep them from getting bored, make sure they go down the right aisles, buy the right gravyish stuff.

Monty: Yeah. Not only that, but fancy leaving a dog behind in that kind of decor. It's enough to give you daymares.

Rosie: Decor? Decor? What kind of word is that for a self-respecting Border collie to use?

Monty, blushing under his fur: Well, uh. It's just, you know wot I mean. One's environment is very important.

Rosie, gives him the collie stare.

Monty slinks off.

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ACEO - Bedspread

Monty: Ahh, how lovely - to lie in a sea of flowers like that, part of the landscape, at one with nature.

Rosie: Have you ever lain in a bed of nasturtiums?

Monty: Uh, well nooooooo....

Rosie: Belt it, then. They really smell 'orrible up that close.

Monty: Oh. Well, maybe it's a bit weird.

Rosie: Susan got a bit weird with this one. We'll have to watch her.

Monty, looking over shoulder: Yeah.

Rosie, looking over shoulder: Yeah.

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ACEO - Meditation

Monty: Ahhh, meditation. That's nice.

Rosie: But, what's he meditating on?

Monty: Well, he's probably thinking about... um... poppies? Fields? Nice days? His youth. Stuff like that. Yeah, that'll be it.

Rosie: Nah - it'll be bones, gravy and hunt the rope games, more like.

Monty: It's all appreciation though, isn't it?

Rosie: Appreciation? What's wrong with just bones, gravy and hunt the rope games?

Monty: Um. Yeah.

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ACEO - His holiday scarf

Monty: Aroo, I wish I had a scarf like that!

Rosie: It doesn't match the holiday hat, though.

Monty: Different collie. Anyway, I think it's time we got our gear ready.

Rosie: Ready for what?

Monty: The holidays! Carol howling. Hunt the rope. Chasing yule logs. Chewing chestnuts. Hunt the rope. Hanging in stockings. Hunt the rope. Slurping mulled wine...

Rosie: Bah, humbug!

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ACEO - Evening flight

Monty: Do you think he wants to fly?

Rosie: Nah. Border collies have more sense.

Monty: They do?

Rosie: Border collies can fly on the ground perfectly well without the need to leave it.

Monty: Yes, Rosie.

Rosie: What I want to know is - who is he? Why's he got his back to us?

Monty: Um. I'll find out...

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ACEO - It's NOT a dog basket???

Monty: Of course it's a dog basket.

Rosie: Of course it's a dog basket.

Monty: Who's saying it's not a dog basket?

Rosie: Some human, I expect.

Monty: ALL baskets are dog baskets.

Rosie: Yeah. Even those ones they so inconsiderately leave full of wet clothes.

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ACEO - His holiday hat

Monty: Nooooooooooo - we can't be thinking of Christmas already.

Rosie: Why not? You should have got a whole basket full of pressies for me by now.

Monty: Well, er, naturally I have a little stash for you. It's everyone else who's a problem.

Rosie: No problem - send them to http://www.cafepress.com/susanalisonart and it'll be easy peasy.

Monty: Blimey - that sounded like a commercial.

Rosie: That's because it is. Susan's spent ages setting this thing up and has no idea if it'll work or if she's done it right. At least check it out and leave a comment about it.

Monty: Yes, Rosie.

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ACEO - Remembering things in the fall

Monty: Remembering what? What things is he remembering?

Rosie: Uh. Um.

Monty: Remembering other leaves he's run through?

Rosie: Yeah. And other bones he's chewed and other gravy he's slurped all over the floor.

Monty: And other crisp days of autumn. Hey! She's put 'fall' - it should be autumn!

Rosie: It's one world you know. Fall. Autumn. Fall. Autumn. We know what we mean.

Monty: Yeah. That's right. We mean autumn.

Rosie: And fall.

Susan: Rosie's feeling particularly affable today. What's going on?

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ACEO - No peace for the pup...

Monty: Ahhhh, poor thing. Why can't he have any peace?

Rosie: Yeah, you'd have thought people would know by now.

Monty: Know what?

Rosie: About sleeping dogs, of course.

Monty: What about sleeping dogs?

Rosie: I shall bite you if you don't get your act together.

Monty: Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Rosie: Sigh.

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ACEO - If I stare at it hard enough it'll start throwing itself for me...

Monty: Yeah, that works.

Rosie: Don't be dafter than usual. How can it throw itself around?

Monty: Just keep staring at it. It works.

Rosie: Ah, right. Arf. You need a human about the place for it to work, though.

Monty: Yeah. Doesn't work without a human about.

Rosie: They fall for it every time don't they. hehehe

Monty: Yeah. hehehe

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ACEO - World peace? In my opinion, more walks'd sort it

Monty: What do you reckon, Rosie? Think he's right? More walks'd do it?

Rosie: Bound to. Stands to reason. If everyone's walking around all the time they wouldn't have time for warring, would they?

Monty: No, you're right.

Rosie: Yeah. Walk, walk instead of war, war. Sounds like a quote dunnit?

Monty: Yeah. Walk, walk instead of war, war. It was woofed here first.

Rosie: Woof!

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ACEO - Mine!

Rosie: There - that just goes to show why you mustn't get too possessive about anything.

Monty - hiding his knotted rope: Why not?

Rosie: Because you end up looking like a bear.

Monty - looking in mirror: Eek!

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ACEO - Missing you

Monty: Aaaahhhhhhhhh. He's missing his mistress.

Rosie: He's missing his gravy, you mean, his bones, and hunt-the-rope games.

Monty: No, he's missing her, her hugs and her smell. You would.

Rosie: Humphf. Maybe. Oh, orlrite. Anyway, had you realised our mistress thinks the world is flat?

Monty: Um...

Rosie: Yes, she put this picture up on ebay to start at a particular time and because she doesn't realise the world is round it's not on there yet when she thought it would be. It won't be up there until tomorrow morning, I don't think, now.

Monty: Susan thinks the world is flat?

Rosie: She must do or she'd have got the time right.

Monty: Teeheeeee, arf arf arf.

Rosie: Hehehe, arf arf arf.

Susan - mystified: A strange and alien sense of agreement has fallen over the canine members of this household. Wonder what that's about.

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ACEO - Eek!

Monty: Eek!

Rosie: It's only a witch.

Monty: Yes, but it's a WITCH!

Rosie: It's only a witch.

Monty: Yes, but it's a WITCH witch!

Rosie: Eek! It's a witch!

Monty: Run for the hills!

Susan : We don't have so many witches around here. I expect we'll get used to it, though.

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ACEO - Hurry, hurry!

Monty: Why's he in such a hurry?

Rosie: He heard the gravy boat?

Monty: Nah, he's hurrying to meet his mistress.

Rosie: Nah, he heard the biscuit tin.

Monty: Nah, he's not in a hurry to get somewhere - he's in a hurry to get away from the Great Dog Tyrex of Legend.

Rosie: Snrunch!

Monty: Aroooooooooooooo - you'll be sorry. He approacheth.

Rosie: Approacheth??? I'm furrightened. Arf, arf.

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ACEO - Shy flower

Rosie: Yeah. That's like me. All shy.

Monty:

Rosie: Yeah. Just like me.

Monty:

Rosie: Monty? Monty?

Monty: Mmmphf...snort...snackle...mmmphf...

Rosie - hurt: You have no appreciation for the bold face I put on merely to carry on day to day.

Monty: Mmmphf...

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ACEO - Last of the Mohicanines

Rosie: The last one... Well, I'm not surprised - look at the state of him.
Monty: But young pups should be able to express themselves with their own fur if they want to. You have to be able to self-express to be able to grow. We all did it.
Rosie: Bark for yourself!
Monty: Teehee - maybe that's why you're stunted.
Rosie: Snrunch!
Monty: Yelp! Arooooooooooooo

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