Monday, 20 October 2014

The Fount of all Wisdom - Not!!! This was a poo-puzzler....

I'm obviously the fount of all wisdom cos of Jeff-Dog. Whenever I'm out with him I'm often approached by someone saying: "You've got a dog..."

Um - yeah.

"You've got a dog, so what I want to know is this...."

This approach immediately makes me feel like there's a police car behind me and I'm about to be accused of some heinous dog-crime. And I wait. And Jeff-Dog waits... And we can hear dogs howling in the distance as the world falls silent; the odd tumbleweed rolls down the street, our breath is running out and we're turning purple. I know Jeff-Dog is turning purple under all that fur just by the look on his face...

Yeah. So today. We're ambling along, when we're approached by a man who says: "You've got a dog, so what I want to know is this - why do you dog-people pick up your dog-poo, tie it up into little black bags - and then..." (Jeff-Dog and I, we're already holding our breath at this stage) "...and then why do you have to tie the bags into the trees?"


I think probably, 'gormless' would be the most descriptive word to use for our expressions as our minds race away trying to work out the incomprehensible picture this question has given us....


Poo in the trees... (poo in bags in the trees)...
This is Jeff-Dog going: "Wot????"

Sunday, 12 October 2014

Excerpt from 'Woofs of Wisdom on Writing' by CorgiScribe; illustrated by Susan Alison

Night and/or day

Some pups rival the nocturnal habits of owls
tapping away into the bowels
of night getting down their howls
of creative birth.

They end up with permanent writerly scowls,
bags under their eyes down to their jowls,
loads of prose with not enough vowels,
and an increasing girth.

But despite the leg-aching midnight prowls,
the frustrated and often nonsensical growls,
the slapping of faces with wet towels
– for some of us it can be of great worth!

Others of us need to sleep at night
and only work in the light
of day.
That is to say:

don’t be wary
if you vary
from the ‘norm’.

Because there isn’t one.

Yayyy!!! Woofs of Wisdom on Writing is published!!!

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